Baseball

Looking back, I now know I only played baseball because I was jealous of the after game snacks that they players all got.  When I didn't play, I only got a snack if there were extras, and I had to fight all the other kids' siblings for them. I was no good and I don't know if I even really enjoyed it. (But I do remember bunting the ball all the time- probably because I knew I couldn't hit it any other way!) Another reason I think I played it because I looked up to Lauren and wanted to do everything she was doing. She was so cool, so I guess I figured I could be too.

I know I had my own personality, likes, and dislikes, but I also think I went along with what Lauren did a lot of the times, because it was easy, and once again, I think I wanted to be like her.

I remember in 7th or 8th grade, Lauren had bangs, and I would always take these strands of hair from my hair and tuck them behind my ears. I can't remember where we were going, but I remember when Lauren decided to grow out her bangs. She had pulled them back with a bobby pin or something, and I remember thinking how good she looked, and how I wanted to wear my hair like that.

Same with Lauren's high top converse sneakers. She would wear them when we were around 7-8th grade, and I remember when she was due for a new pair, Mom bought me some as well. Probably cause I asked her too.

I remember having the conversation with Lauren that I could be the pretty twin and she could be the cute twin.  That seemed to work for both of us.

I remember one time we were hanging out in the big gray barn and Lauren and I were searching for something to talk about. We decided that we should each think of something that drove us nuts about the other one, and then we would take turns telling each other. I remember we agreed to not get mad at each other, and we promised it would only help us be better sisters. Within minutes we were both in tears and very mad at each other- guess that one back fired on us!

I think Lauren pushed me to do things I otherwise may not have tried. And I am so grateful to grow up with a playmate there all the time. 

I don't think I realized how much of a follower I was until Lauren headed to BYU-Idaho and I was on my own. It was good for both of us, but it made me realize who I was, instead of having my identity mixed with Lauren's.

*Lesley